Matsuda, You're Stupid
by AnimeBiotch1000
Summary: Another day, another call, another unusual happening, but...NOT concerning Kira? Who would've guessed that Mastuda or L could ever be sexually smart...together! L/Matsu-Matsu/L-Hard yaoi
1. Misa's call, and a back massage

_All the characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. By the way, for those of you reading my first fanfiction about FMA paring Envy+Ed, I'm discontinuing it. Sorry! No time, not interested anymore. But please enjoy this one._

Matsuda was on the edge of his seat, looking at the phone on the table in front of him. Light stayed away from him, and even L got a weird look on his face when he got near the noob-police. For the last 14 hours, Matsuda was just sitting there, waiting for a phone call from 'Misa-Misa' saying where she was in line place on the new 18-Magazine cover. Last month she was second, one behind Miss Kiyomi Takada, but Matsuda was sure that her swimsuit/lingerie outfit mix was to get her the winning name. L had spoken to him earlier, and received mentally scaring verbal abuse that sounded something like 'FNJDELKGBDKFHGBDSNGJ RYUUZAKI! SHUT UP! I'M WAITING!!'. At last, the phone rang. Matsuda was relieved, yet still tense. After he picked up the phone, and got the answer, he'd either have a party, or pout, then go pee, eat, sleep, ta-dah.

Soichiro got up. "I'll get it." but soon regretted saying that. Matsuda screamed at him, then shouted "NO YOU WILL NOT! _I_ WILL, YOU HEAR THAT?!" then smashed his hand on the phone, picked it up, and in a delicate little voice said, "How'd you do, Misa-Misa?" It was 12:45 a.m. Light got annoyed with Matsuda, and snickered, walking upstairs with his cell phone in his hand, looking ready to speak. Soichiro saw Light, and went outside.

"I'm going home" he said, as Matsuda received his answer.

"Oh Matsui-kun-kun-kun! You'll never ever ever guess it! I got on the bottom-y wottom-y of the list-y wist-y! Now I'm never ever ever gunna beat Takada-Wakada! Boo-y woo-y hoo-y" came the shrill voice, that had a manly tone to it.

"OH NO! THAT'S HORRIBLE MISA MISA!" Matsuda shook his head. "I'll buy you new clothes tomorrow! That'll make it better!"

_Only one problem with that, Matsuda..._ Light smiled, hanging up. _Misa called ME, and told me to tell you...she'll expect you to party with her being number one, but I guess you'll be wasting your pay-check on accident. How about this, I'll buy the clothes for you! Give me the money! Hah._ He flopped onto Ryuuzaki's bed, and slept. Matsuda shook Ryuuzaki, and screamed in his ear that Misa lost. L ignored the man, bemused by what was going on with the Kira Case. It had only been the second day since Light was freed form the handcuffs, but chose to stay in the house. He shrugged, and faced Matsuda, pushing him off.

"That's interesting and all, but I wanna give Mogi a vacation, please move out of my way." L jumped up from the seat, and went to Mogi, explaining how he was free to go for the week. Aizawa walked up to L, and said he had to leave for the night too, because his daughters birthday was the next. Matsuda sighed, having a strange liking towards Matsuda, but looked around the room, putting his mind on the fact that it was only L and himself now. "Matsuda?" L started, walking back to his seat with a blush coloured on his face.

"Yes Ryuuzaki?" Matsuda walked to the couch in the room, and sat. He smiled at L, who then asked "Could I have a back massage?" Matsuda's face flushed. He nodded. "I still have some of Misa-Misa's creams. L nodded, and sat next to Matsuda, then took off his shirt. Matsuda squeaked, and covered his mouth, enjoying the sight. _Holy shit, he's so hot._ He thought. He didn't know why he thought that. L was very skinny, with almost NO muscles. He just...was. Matsuda pulled exfoliating cream out of his back-pack that he brought for 'Emergency beauty care' in case 'Misa-Misa' felt ugly. He turned around to see that Ryuuzaki was already on his stomach. Matsuda put a squirt of cream on his hands, and started to massage L's back.


	2. What's this? A kiss?

All the characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata

_All the characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. By the way, for those of you reading my first fanfiction about FMA paring Envy+Ed, I'm discontinuing it. Sorry! No time, not interested anymore. But please enjoy this one._

Matsuda methodically rubbed the detectives back, receiving tiny grunts and moans in return. After almost 30 minutes of the relaxing moment, Matsuda's phone rang, and he picked it up, one hand still massaging.

"MATSU!" came the squeaky voice that belonged to Misa.

"Misa." He replied, flatly, pulling the phone away a bit, then putting it between his chin and shoulder, now continuing to massage L with both hands.

"Did you hear?!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"What? Why?"

"Uh..." he massaged slower. He was working on moving down L's back, and forgot to go up, now massaging L's behind. L squeaked, and said "Matsuda-san!", getting a sorry in return.

"Anyways, I got number one on the 18 magazine!" she said happily. Matsuda wasn't surprised. He was pretty sure Light was making a joke, but wasn't sure. He just 'woop'ed and said he had to go. Misa said it sounded like sex, then Matsuda hung up. "Sorry Ryuuzaki." he said, then went back up. L shivered, and sat up.

"It's ok. I'm going back to my chair. Thank you so much." L smiled at Matsuda, put his shirt on, and sat back in his chair, watching Light sleep. Matsuda got up, blushing and unstable because he saw _L_ smile. He giggled. Sitting by L on a different chair, Matsuda stared at the other, sighing like a fanboy. For five minutes, the two just sat there, one looking at a screen, one looking at the screen-watcher. L broke the silence. "I think you want sweets." He said, looking at Matsuda. The other made a confused face.

"What? What makes you think that Ryuuzaki?" he leaned back in his chair, wanting to hear what L had to say. He always has weird explanations, which Matsuda loved listening to.

"Well," he started, showing no emotion even though he was about to say the most ridiculous thing. "You've been staring at me...and I AM what I eat. Sweets! Besides, I'm cute as hell. So you MUST want some sweets, am I wrong? Watari! Get me some sweets please. Twice as much as usual, Matsuda-san wants some too, thank you." L turned around, and waited for Watari. Matsuda nodded.

"You got me, L! I want sweets!" Matsuda lied, thinking _Hell, I want YOUR sweets, Ryuuzaki._. L shook his head though.

"Because you said that, I don't believe you. Besides, you didn't say 'thank you', so you get none. Watari, only get enough for me." L said promptly. Matsuda shook his head.

"I want sweets. Not that kind though." He said. L blushed, already knowing what the other meant. Matsuda didn't see.

"Wow. That's pretty sexual for _you_, Matsuda-san." L slid his chair over to Matsuda. Matsuda blinked.

"Yeah, I gue-" L interrupted him. Matsuda's eyes widened, and his body tensed.

_Oh...my...god...Ryuuzaki's kissing me._


	3. The final stage

All the characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata

_All the characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. By the way, for those of you reading my first fanfiction about FMA paring Envy+Ed, I'm discontinuing it. Sorry! No time, not interested anymore. But please enjoy this one._

Matsuda gasped, and pulled back, breaking the kiss. L's head dropped, and he hissed through his teeth. "Matsuda! I was kissing you! You're supposed to kiss me back! Even _I_ knew that!" L grouched. Matsuda shook his head, still panting a bit.

"S-sorry Ryuuzaki..I didn't know how to react..." Mastuda looked at his shoes, twiddling his thumbs. "Uh..we could..t-try again...?" Matsuda snapped his head up, looking hopeful. L shrugged.

"Sure." He grabbed Matsuda's chin, and pressed his lips onto the others. This time, Matsuda grabbed L's shoulders, and kissed him back, even slipping his tongue into the other's mouth. L groaned, and nearly fell out of his chair. He wobbled to a standing position, breaking the kiss while doing so. "Matsuda..." L groaned and Matsuda lifted off L's shirt, and felt the detectives chest. Matsuda unzipped the other's pants, put his hand in L's underpants, and fondled his member. L shuddered, and moaned softly into Matsuda's ear. He bit L's ear gently, and let go of L's member. He pulled down L's pants and underpants, and gasped, not believing he did it. L looked down at himself, a little embarrassed. Matsuda put his head down next to L's member, and smirked.

"So, L..." he started. "This is _your_ first time too, neh?" he said. L nodded, and Matsuda took him in. L hissed through his teeth, and tensed up, bucking his hips more and more until he finally came. Matsuda grunted, and closed his eyes. It didn't taste pleasant, and there was too much things in his mouth and once. It dripped out of his mouth, only egging L on even more. L tried to calm down. Matsuda lifted his head, and shuddered, wiping his mouth off. L tugged Matsuda, and pushed him on the floor, who landed with a grunt. L yanked Matsuda's pants down, and lifted his legs. Matsuda squeaked, and fought, but L payed no attention to him, and pulled down the other's underpants. Matsuda closed his eyes,. and bucked his hips, preparing or the pain. When it finally came, it came hard...and _really_ painful. Matsuda shouted out L's alias, 'Ryuuzaki' to the top of his lungs, and curled his toes ad much as he could in his shoes. He was still wearing his formal work clothes, except for his pants/underpants that were just below his knees. L withdrew slowly, then shoved back in, harder than the earlier one, receiving a groan. Mastuda bit his lip, and closed his eyes as tight as he could. "Ryuu...zaki..." he groaned out through clenched teeth. L pushed in, pulled out for a while, then pulled out for good, receiving a whimper from Mastuda, who was relieved it was over.

"Okay. All done." He said in his monotone voice. Matsuda blushed, and pulled his pants/underpants up, zipped them up, and sat on the couch, slumping, panting and exhausted.

"Sheesh, Ryuuzaki, you look puny. But you sure do have too much energy for me..." Mastuda sighed. L span around in his chair, just finishing putting on his clothes. "Oh really? I could've gone on longer..." Mastuda looked up in shock.

"Wow, L, you're energetic for someone in your day and age!"

"Mastuda..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm only 24."

"Oh..."

"Eh, whatever. You can't help it, Mastuda, you're stupid."


End file.
